A Pilot's Only Weakness
by The Dragon Spooker
Summary: In the year A.C 201 the five Gundam pilots have long since forgotten about their former lives and have settled down. As hard as it may be to believe, the pilots now have weaknesses, weaknesses that this old foe wants to exploit as Duo Maxwell’s wedding
1. Default Chapter

A Pilot's Only Weakness pt1

**A Pilot's Only Weakness pt1.**

Disclaimer: I don't own the GW characters or the show.

A/N: Well, this is set after Duo's Double. Heh. I'll try and keep this one more in character. -_-()

Summary: In the year A.C 201 the five Gundam pilots have long since forgotten about their former lives and have settled down. As hard as it may be to believe, the pilots now have weaknesses, weaknesses that this old foe wants to exploit as Duo Maxwell's wedding approaches. Who is this long forgotten enemy?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A shadowed figure sat in the middle of a lightly dimmed room. A door opened bringing an almost blinding light into the room.

"What do you want?" The figure, which was a male, growled viciously. A young man in his late twenties entered and humbly bowed in front of the man.

"I'm sorry to bother you Baron Catorce but here are the files that you requested. We have also set up the equipment you wanted in the next room. But, we don't know the whereabouts of pilot 03. Trowa Barton."

"He's of no matter. The other four are more important. They have the weaknesses. Thank you Private Johansson. You may leave." Private Johansson left the room leaving Catorce to look over the files. 

"Yes, my plan is finally coming together. The indestructible Gundam Pilots now have the weaknesses I can…exploit." He chucked to himself and walked over to a desk, which had a framed picture on it. He picked it up and stroked it softly. "Soon my dear, I will have your love and respect. Respect that I deserve…and not those dim-witted Gundam pilots." He said, his tone of voice became irate when he mentioned the pilots. "Soon…"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

In Riyadh, Saudi Arabia… 

A tall blonde man stood outside the shuttle station in Riyadh with a big smile on his face. He walked up to the front desk.

"Excuse me? Do you know when the shuttle from Colony L2 is arriving?" The guy asked.

"Yes, it should be there in about two minutes."

"Really?! Where?!"

"Calm down sir! It's on the other side of the station." The woman slightly smirked at his antics. 

He sped off like there was no tomorrow, jumping over people and nearly causing three-dozen accidents. After about a million sorrys he made it to the arrival port just as the shuttle touched down.He looked pass the other passengers coming through the doorway. Then he finally saw who he was waiting for. She was a tall, slender woman with chestnut hair and amethyst eyes. She looked over to the man and a huge grin appeared on her face making her appear a lot younger than she actually was. He walked over to her and embraced her with a passionate kiss.

"Hey there stranger." He said looking lovingly into her eyes.

"Hey there yourself. How have you been Quatre?" She asked but he just smiled and led her away. "What's wrong?"

"Huh? Nothing! Nothing's, hehe, wrong Michelle!" Quatre said hastily as they walked outside to his red convertible.

"There are plenty of things wrong. First, you're talking as if you're being watched or something! Second, you're driving the _red_ convertible! The RED one!! What's going on? C'mon," Michelle said putting her arms around him and pouting. "You can tell me." Quatre sighed.

"My sisters want to meet you." Quatre said.

"And…………that's a bad thing?" Michelle asked.

"Well yeah."

"I'm insulted." She said jokingly but of course Quatre thought she was serious.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean it like that!"

"I know you didn't. I was just joking." Michelle cocked an eyebrow.

"Oh. Miche, you know how I feel about you it's just that…I have 29 sisters! 29!! Most of them are ok and they're the ones that can't make it!! We're left with my five bossiest and nosiest sisters." Quatre despaired as Michelle stifled a giggle. "It's not funny!"

"I'm sure I can handle it! It can't be as bad as you think it is!" Michelle said but Quatre still had that look of despair on his face. "Of all the Quatre Winner's in the world you are the Quatre Winneriest." She said as he started to laugh. They got in the car and started towards Quatre's house.

"So, how are Duo and Hilde?" Quatre asked.

"Last time I checked on them they were more in love than ever. They've also set the date for their wedding."

"Really? When is it?"

"On Hilde's birthday. Two weeks from now."

"That's…romantic, I'm shocked!" Quatre joked.

"Knowing him he's just done it so that he doesn't forget her birthday or their anniversary." Michelle said as Quatre laughed.

"You certainly are a Maxwell." Quatre smirked. She laughed.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

In Boston, Massachusetts… 

Another young man stepped out of his car and looked at the slightly huge house he was standing in front of. His unruly dark hair didn't exactly go with his attire of smart trousers and a shirt but then again he wasn't exactly the most stylish person around. He was kind of on the short side but was still muscular. He took his sunglasses off and placed them on his head.

"Well, I suppose I'd better go in and see him then." He said, in a monotonous sort of voice. He went to the front door and knocked.

"Just a minute!!" A male voice yelled from inside. The young man smirked slightly. The door flung open to reveal a slightly taller man but they looked about the same age. His long chestnut braid was flung over his shoulder as the man put a massive grin on his face.

"Heero! How was the shuttle flight?" He said as Heero put out a hand to shake but the guy hugged him. He hesitantly returned the hug.

"Fine. Good to see you Maxwell." Heero said.

"Heero, how long have we known each other?"

"Well, um…"

"I think long enough for you to call me Duo." Duo said ushering him to come inside.

"So, how's Hilde?"

"She's great. A little excited I guess."

"And you're not?"

"Of course I am! You know how girls are!" Duo laughed. "You want some coffee?"

"No thanks, I'm alright."

"How are things between you and Relena?" Duo asked mischievously. Heero's eyes widened a little but then he went back to normal.

"I'm still her bodyguard if that's what you're asking."

"Mmm hmm. Geez, you're both as stubborn as each other." 

"What is that supposed to mean?" Heero asked, sporting the Heero Yuy Death Glare™. Duo waved his hands in defence.

"Nothing!! Absolutely nada dude!!" Duo laughed.

"Hn. So, have you set a date?"

"Yep, in two weeks."

"Not that far. Have you booked a place?"

"Hilde has. She won't even let me do anything."

"Smart woman."

"Huh?"

"She knows you'll botch this up somehow."

"Very funny Yuy."

"Don't you think we've known each other long enough for you to call me Heero?"

"Oh! The Perfect Soldier finally cracks a joke! Interesting."

"I try something new every so often."

"I thought you weren't supposed to show emotions."

"Sarcasm is not an emotion, for you it's more like a way of life."

"Ooh!! I've got something to show you!" Duo exclaimed running into his room.

"He can act like such a child sometimes." Heero muttered.

"Oh yeah! Can a child get this?" Duo asked with a smug look on his face. He held up a framed piece of paper. Heero looked at it and raised his eyebrows.

"A university degree in mechanics and engineering. Hn, nice work." Heero said. Duo just grinned happily. "Hn."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Names, Private. I need names." The Baron barked. The poor private swallowed hard and continued.

"I have the names you requested sir…"

"Ah yes. The weaknesses!! Huzzah!" Catorce said as the private sweat dropped slightly. "Ahem. Now, the names."

"Yes sir! Here they are." Private Johansson handed the file to the man. He opened them and studied them carefully.

"Hmm. Their personal details…I expected them to be…different. It doesn't matter. They're all part of my plan."

"Yes sir…" Johansson said leaving the office. Catorce turned around to a surveillance computer.

"Finally, this is up and running." He smirked evilly. "Enjoy the fireworks boys. Hahaha."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"QUATRE!" Five shrill voices shrieked. Michelle and Quatre grimaced slightly.

"Hi. This is Michelle." Quatre said.

"Hi Michelle!" They all said in unison again. They all looked very similar but only one of them had similar eyes to Quatre. They all had darker hair than him too.

"Hello." Michelle uttered shyly. Quatre raised an eyebrow at her.

"Aw Quatre! She's just adorable!" One of them said.

"Michelle, this is Amira, Leila, Sultana, Nadia and Sabina." Quatre said pointing to each of them. They all waved at Michelle as she sweat dropped a little.

"Come, come! You have to sit down! I'll go and prepare some tea." Amira said as she dashed off to the kitchen. They sat down in the parlour. There was an uncomfortable silence.

"So, how are you?" Nadia asked.

"Just fine. A little jet lagged but what can you do?" Michelle smiled. The sisters all looked at each other and then smiled back. Both Quatre and Michelle sweat dropped big time. Amira dashed back in with the tea and set it down on the table.

"Did I miss any gossip?" She asked the sisters in Arabic as Quatre looked at his sisters in surprise. Michelle was blushing, obviously she had understood what Amira had said.

_**I want to die of embarrassment.**_ Quatre thought to himself.

"Well I for one am glad that you're dating Quatre! He hasn't had a date in a long time!" Leila exclaimed. Quatre almost face-faulted.

"That's…nice." Michelle said.

"Leila!" Quatre hissed.

"Don't worry, we're happy for you. I have to admit, we were a bit worried about our little brother. We kinda thought he was gay, you know, with that Trowa guy." Sultana smiled. Quatre's mouth just hung open in shock.

"Oh stop being such a busybody Quatre! We like her! She's a lot nicer than that other girl you brought home." Sabina smiled. Quatre paled. "What was her name?"

"I don't think we wanna talk about that!" Quatre said nervously.

"Now, don't be silly! I think her name was Melissa." Nadia said.

"No, it began with R, Rachel?" Amira offered.

"No, it was…I know who it was!! That Relena girl! Relena Dorlian!" Sultana cried as Michelle choked on the tea she was drinking. Quatre patted her on the back because her face was turning blue.

"Hmm! From that cough I'd say that you know her!" Leila said as the others nodded.

"Could they be related?" Sabina asked with a mischievous smile.

"Ooh! Scandalous!" The five sisters laughed. Both Quatre and Michelle just sat there with red faces.

"I think it's time I took Michelle home!" Quatre smiled grabbing Michelle and dashing out the door. "See you later!"

"That's too bad. I was just getting to know her." Sultana said as the others nodded in agreement. Outside, Michelle and Quatre were in an uncomfortable silence. When they were a good way away from the house, Michelle started to laugh really loud.

"Pardon me for asking but, what's so funny?" Quatre asked.

"You and…Relena! Hahaha! HAHAHA!" Michelle laughed as she clutched her stomach. "Oh! I can't breathe! TROWA!! BWAHAHA!! Oh, I can't wait to tell him that one. I think he might actually laugh for a change!!"

"I can explain!" Quatre exclaimed but Michelle was too busy laughing. Quatre sighed a mushroom cloud. Michelle wiped the tears from her eyes and then looked at Quatre.

"Ok, explain." Michelle said.

"Well, she wanted to make Heero jealous and she couldn't go to none of the other guys…it was a long time ago! We were like 17! I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for? So what, you dated a girl before me? It's not the end of the world Quatre!" Michelle smiled.

"Really?"

"You are just so adorable!" Michelle said giving him a hug.

"So, you wanna just drive around?" Quatre asked, just about to open the door of the car.

"Nah, how about we take a romantic stroll?" Michelle said as she linked her arm with Quatre's and walked off. They were no more than 15ft away from the car when it exploded. The flames soon disappeared as if they were supposed to.

"Holy shit!" Michelle exclaimed.

"What happened?" Quatre exclaimed. "It was fine a minute ago!"

"I…I'm not sure. What I am sure of is that it wasn't an accident. Someone wanted that to happen. To us." Michelle said as Quatre looked back at the wreck.

"But who would?"

"I'm not sure."

"I wonder if we should tell the others…"

"We should, I'm not so sure about Duo though."

"What do you mean?"

"He's very…superstitious. He'd take this as some sort of sign." Michelle laughed sheepishly.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

_In San Francisco, California…_

"Hey Catherine!" Trowa yelled. "I'll be back soon, I just need to get some things from the nearby store!"

"Okay!! Be careful!" Catherine yelled from inside the tent. Trowa smiled slightly. Even though he was twenty years old she still worried about him as if he were a little child. He walked to the store and fished his hands inside his pockets.

"Oh great. I forgot the money." Trowa said as he started to walk back. The store behind him exploded, sending him flying about 20ft. He got up and clutched his arm. It was in a lot of pain but he could take it.

"If Duo were here, he'd say this was a sign." Trowa stated as he tried to get up. He could hear sirens wailing in the background. "I'd better get out of here."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

_The next day…_

"Michelle!! Michelle, where are you?" Quatre yelled. 

A muffled voice shouted back and he followed it. He saw her legs sticking out from under the wrecked car. He panicked, thinking she had somehow got stuck under there, and pulled her out. He had pulled to hard and she went skidding down the driveway. Quatre sweat dropped as she came skateboarding back. She was wearing a tight t-shirt and a pair of overalls. The top half of the overalls were hanging around her waist. She had smudges all over her face and on her clothes. She had her hair tied up in a bandana.

"What did you do that for?!" Michelle asked.

"I…I thought you were stuck under the car…" Quatre said sheepishly. Michelle just smirked.

"Actually I was trying to find out what had happened last night. I think I may have found something." She said, lying on the skateboard and wheeling herself under the car again. "Can you hear me?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, whoever did this must've had experience in the war. Or at least was in the Mafia."

"Why do you say that?"

"Well, they had many back up plans in case the car didn't explode. The brake fluid is completely drained and the acceleration wires have been messed with. Oh and I found this." She said wheeling out with an exploded bomb.

"Oh my God." Quatre uttered. "So, this was done purposely. But who?"

"Speaking professionally, I'd say that someone you fought has a grudge against you."

"How about speaking personally?"

"Some poor son of a bitch that is gonna get his ass kicked if I ever see him."

"Hehe."

"What?" She said blowing a fluff of hair from her face.

"Nothing." He said pulling her close and kissing her deeply.

"Am I interrupting something?" A cool voice said. They pulled apart and looked over to see none other than the Heavyarms pilot himself. The uni-banged man had his arm bandaged and looked like he had gotten in a fight.

"Trowa!" Quatre exclaimed. "Nice to see you but what happened? Are you okay?!"

"Yeah I'm fine. Hey Michelle."

"Hey, from the look on your face I can tell you had an experience with some TNT as well. You okay?" Michelle asked, concerned. Trowa sighed and nodded.

"This is getting out of hand. Was it just us who were targeted?" Quatre asked.

"Hopefully." Trowa said as the other two looked at him confused. "What I mean is I hope no one else got hurt too."

"At least not yet." Michelle said.

"What do you mean?" Trowa asked.

"I'm only guessing this is a grudge attack but if it is then the person would want to kill us at different times. You know, to mess with our heads. It's just a guess though…"

"That's sick." Quatre said shaking his head. "We should get ready. Duo wants us over at his place today. It'll take us a couple of hours to get there."

"Oh? Have him and Hilde set the date?" Trowa asked.

"Two weeks." Michelle replied. "I hope whoever this is 

doesn't ruin it for them."

To Be Continued…

Well what did you think? Should I bother continuing? Who is this madman that is trying to kill the g-boys. What are the weaknesses that he has found out about the pilots?? Find out next time.


	2. One Down...

A Pilot's Only Weakness pt2

**A Pilot's Only Weakness pt2**

Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with Mobile Suit: Gundam Wing.

A/N: I'm glad you guys liked this fic!! Thankew!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hi guys!!" Duo said cheerfully. Michelle, Quatre and Trowa all greeted Duo as he engulfed them in a bear hug.

"You seem a lot happier these days!" Quatre beamed. If it was possible, Duo's grin widened.

"If I ever tried to smile like that I think my face would fall off." Came a voice from the porch. Duo stuck his head out the door and saw none other than Justice Man himself.

"Wu-man, if you ever smiled your face would fall off." Duo smirked. Wufei merely rolled his eyes.

"How are you doing Maxwell?" Wufei asked.

"Never better. Well except that time when I found the $1000 on a bus!" Duo laughed.

"Duo!" Michelle scolded.

"I'm just kidding!" Duo replied.

"How is it that he gets to call you Maxwell while I have to call you Duo?" Heero asked. The others raised an eyebrow.

"Because the last time I tried to convince him he threatened to cut off my braid." Duo laughed.

"Do we even want to know?" Trowa whispered as Quatre stifled a giggle.

"I always threaten you." Heero answered back.

"Yeah, but we both know that any threats to me and a certain woman by the name of Relena go unanswered." Duo smirked. Heero's eyes widened again at the mention of Relena's name.

"I think the joke stopped there." Trowa stated.

"Dead Man Walking…" Michelle uttered. Heero suddenly pounced on Duo and started to beat the crap out of him. He had a strong hold on Duo's neck.

"Shouldn't we stop them? Duo's face is turning the same colour as his eyes." Quatre grimaced.

"Let 'em fight it out." Wufei said as he smirked. Michelle rolled her eyes and went to the two fighting. She grabbed Heero by the collar and lifted him up. He was about to punch her but saw who it was and stopped himself.

"Why'd you stop him? I could've taken him." Duo wheezed.

"Yeah well, I'm sure Hilde doesn't want her fiancée to be hooked up to an IV on her wedding day." Michelle said. Both guys glared at her. She glared back and they backed down.

"Never underestimate the power of a woman." Trowa joked.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The man who was so intent on killing the gundam pilots was looking over a few files. He finally came to a conclusion as an evil grin crossed his face.

"Bingo." He uttered. He walked out of his small office, down a hallway and then into a big hall. In the hall there were at least 10 soldiers, all men in their mid-twenties. He went up to a stage at the front of the hall and cleared his throat.

"My fellow soldiers. We are here for one purpose and one purpose only. That reason is to get revenge. Of course, I have already informed you of our plan but now is the perfect time to execute it." He pulled down a map. "This is where all Gundam pilots are currently staying. The house of pilot 02, Duo Maxwell." He looked on as the other soldiers nodded. "Here is where you'll be targeting at 09:00 tomorrow." He said pointing to a place about 20 miles away from Duo's.

"Yes sir!" They all chorused and walked out of the room.

"Excellent. I will soon have them where I want them. Then I shall have you, my dear."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

_The next morning…_

"We need groceries." Duo said firmly. Wufei looked him square in the eye.

"It's your house." Wufei gritted through his teeth.

"I can't go. Hilde's got my car."

"Use my car."

"Re-think that statement."

"…Use Yuy's car."

"No one is using Yuy's anything." Heero stated, not looking up from the morning newspaper. Trowa and Quatre sighed.

"Are they always like this?" Michelle asked.

"You should see them at holidays. I honestly feel sorriest for the turkey." Trowa replied as Michelle giggled.

"Oh! You think this is funny?!" Duo asked. "Fine! You go with him!"

"I have better things to do than shop for your stomach, bro." Michelle stated putting her hands behind her head.

"Stop undermining me. And stop stealing my pose!!" Duo retorted. "I'm the older one."

"So? Wufei's older than you, but you're not listening to him." Michelle smirked, as did Wufei. Duo looked flabbergasted. "But then again, if Wufei is too _weak_ to go to the store I suppose I could go myself." Wufei suddenly flinched.

"Works every time." Heero smirked.

"C'mon onna, let's go." Wufei said enraged, grabbed Michelle's arm and walked out the house.

"You owe me Duo!" She yelled as they drove off.

"Two bucks says one of them will come back with a black eye." Heero said.

"He wouldn't hit her!" Quatre exclaimed.

"Well she is Duo's sister." Trowa reasoned.

"He's got a point Q-man." Duo agreed. Quatre just sighed.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

_In Moscow, Russia…_

"I don't understand what you are telling me!! Are you saying that it just blew up voluntarily?!" The Preventers' boss yelled.

"Y-y-yes ma'am." The young preventer said, trying not to melt under her defiant glare. Lady Une looked him in the eye and then sighed.

"I'm sorry. It's just that this is frustrating me 'till no end! We've been at peace for so long and now this! Arg!" Une just waved her hand to the soldier. "You can go home now, thanks for your help." He left and she turned to her right. "So, what do you think?"

"To tell you the truth I haven't got the faintest idea." Sally Po replied. Une sighed. "Maybe we should ask…"

"No. Duo's planning his wedding, they have enough on their plates right now." Une stated firmly.

"Where did you say that bomb went off?" Sally asked.

"It was in San Francisco. Why?" Une asked. Sally's face went from pondering to realisation. "What?"

"I think that the guys _are_ the target." Sally said. "Trowa was there."

"Damn. We need to get a hold of him."

"I don't know where he is now, I'll try Quatre and ask if he's seen him."

"Don't let on what we know."

"It's kinda hard trying to hide something from Quatre. But I'll do my best." Sally said leaving the office.

"I hope I'm overreacting about this." Une said.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"What are you doing?" Wufei asked as Michelle played around with his stereo.

"Do you even use this thing?" Michelle asked.

"No. I don't feel there is a need to." Wufei replied. Michelle made a face and just shook her head.

"You need to loosen up! Music doesn't kill your sense of integrity it just makes you feel better."

"Really?" Wufei asked disbelievingly. Michelle sighed and put in a CD. "A CD? Aren't those…outdated?"

"I'm into my classics Wu-man, unlike this techno funk nowadays classified as music."

"Did you just call me Wu-man??! Onna, you are pissing me off."

"Now, now. You shouldn't use profanity. Her name is Noelle, I have a dream about her…"

"As if things couldn't get any more worse, you just had to put on an old song by an onna's group."

"Geez! You are such a chauvinist!" Michelle said. "Sally is a very brave woman." Wufei almost swerved into the opposite lane.

"WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!" Wufei yelled, almost blushing.

"Nothing!! Don't get your knickers in a twist!" Michelle suddenly grinned. "Is that a blush I see creeping up on your face?" She teased.

"Shut up onna!"

"Hmm, onna does have a nice ring to it but isn't that what you should be calling Sally. After all, she is your onna."

"DAMN IT!!"

"Hehe." Michelle laughed. Wufei got annoyed and turned the CD player off. "Hey!"

"When you're driving this car, then you can listen to your music." Wufei said.

"Fine."

_Five minutes later…_

"Coz I'm just a teenage dirtbag baby! Listen to Iron Maiden baby with me!!" Michelle sang as the vein in Wufei's head started to throb.

"Finally, we're here." Wufei said. They both got out of the car.

"That's odd…"

"What?"

"There's no one else here."

"You are so paranoid. It's early."

"You never go grocery shopping, do you Wufei?"

"Why?"

"Because it's SATURDAY!! It doesn't matter what time of morning it is someone should be here. I mean, even the workers aren't here."

"You know, I think working as an FBI agent had its toll on you."

"Very funny Wufei." Michelle stuck her tongue out at him and went round to the entrance. Wufei followed her. She was about to say something but he shushed her.

"Do you hear that?" Wufei whispered. Michelle strained her ears to listen. There was a faint sound of rustling from a nearby row of bushes.

"Oh no, not again! Wufei, we need to get out of here."

"What the hell are you talking about?!" Wufei almost yelled. "Again?!"

"SSH!! I'll explain on the way, just get in the car."

"No. I will not be ordered around by you."

"Damn it Wufei!! One of these days your pride will kill you." Michelle tried to tug on his arm but he wouldn't budge. Suddenly the movement in the bushes increased and five soldiers popped up.

"What the…?" Wufei pondered.

"FIRE!!" One of the soldiers yelled. They started to fire weapons at Wufei and Michelle. Wufei got hit in the arm.

"Holy shit. Take cover!" Michelle said as the two of them ducked behind the building. "Should we get in the car?"

"No, we should make a run for it. By my guess, they're gonna throw grenades at us."

"Grenades?! But we aren't even armed. That sick bitch and or bastard."

"You can explain what you mean by that after we run." They ran around to the back of the building and sprinted across the road. They heard footsteps running after them and increased their speed.

"Are you able to keep up?" Wufei asked.

"Yes, but if I can't keep up then go without me!" Michelle said.

"I can't do that."

"Damn it!! Why not?"

"Because Duo's my friend and I know how much family means to him! I can't let you die!!"

"FIRE!!" Was heard again. The footsteps were father away, which meant they had retreated.

"How come they're retreating?" Michelle asked. Wufei's face was covered in realisation.

"Hit the dirt!" Wufei yelled as he jumped over her causing her to fall to the ground. The explosion that followed sent the two of them flying another 30ft. The debris of the supermarket flew sky high. One soldier rushed up to them and checked Wufei's pulse. He couldn't find one.

"They're dead. Just as you ordered sir." The soldier said as Catorce looked over the two bodies.

"Excellent." He smiled a sinister smile. "Phase one: complete." They drove off in a military jeep.

Sirens were wailing in the background as police, fire trucks and ambulances rushed to the scene. Paramedics rushed Michelle and Wufei onto the truck.

"I just hope we're not too late to save them."

"This one's heart rate is…gone. I…I can't feel a pulse."

"Well try damn it!"

"They're flat lining sir."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Well, Quatre's not home. His sister thinks he might be at Duo's." Sally said coming back to Une's office.

"Ok, I'll try there." Une said. The phone started to ring. "Hello? Yes, this is she. Who is this? Hold on." Une said as she put her hand over the phone. "Do you know where Noin and Zechs are?"

"They're around here somewhere…"

"Well get them in my office as quick as you can." Sally ran out and, in what seemed like record time, she returned with Zechs and Noin hot on her heels.

"What is it Une?" Zechs asked.

"People prepare yourselves, it seems we have a terrorist on our hands." Une replied as she put the phone on speaker.

"Ah! You're all gathered. How…kind!"

"Who are you?" Noin asked.

"All in good time my dear, all in good time. Now, I don't suppose you know Wufei Chang and Michelle Maxwell."

"What if we do?" Sally asked.

"Well if you do, you might as well be the first ones to know that they're dead."

"What?!" Zechs exclaimed. Sally turned pale.

"They're dead and I'm responsible. Don't even try to track me via telephone because this is a secured line. You won't be able to find me. I'll be sure to tell that to the gundam pilots as well. "

"Are you the one responsible for those other attack as well?" Une asked. Noin and Zechs looked at her quizzically.

"Maybe…"

"Don't toy with us damn it!!" Sally yelled.

"My, my such fire! I'll be going now. Just make sure you look after your sister Mr Peacecraft." The line went dead.

"How did he know us?" Zechs asked.

"I don't know. Zechs, go find Relena and make sure she is safe." Une ordered.

"Ok." Zechs left the office. Noin walked over to Sally.

"Are you okay?" Noin asked.

"I…I'm not sure." Sally replied and gave a weak smile.

"I…recognise that voice. I just can't place my finger on it." Lady Une said.

"Really?" Noin asked. "Well, then it has to be someone who knows us. All of us."

"That doesn't really narrow down our search much. It could be anybody." Sally said. "What are we gonna tell the guys?" Noin and Une looked sorrowful.

"I don't know." Noin said.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Duo! Telephone!" Quatre called out. Duo came running downstairs and took the phone from Quatre.

"Y'ello?" Duo said.

"Am I talking to Duo Maxwell?"

"The one and only! How can I help you out?"

"But you've already done so much for me Mr Maxwell." Duo frowned.

"Who is this?"

"You know, that's the question that everyone keeps asking me. Who am I? Well, I can't answer that but I can tell you where your friend and sister are."

"What?" Duo swallowed hard. "What did you say?"

"Ooh. Did I hit a nerve?"

"Better damn believe you did!! Who the hell is this?!" Duo yelled causing Quatre to look at him.

"Don't you want to know about your friends?"

"What the hell are you talking about?!"

"They're gone Duo. Gone." Duo legs suddenly felt like jelly. He tried to talk but it seemed as if he had never spoken a word in his life.

"What?" He barely squeaked. His face became a crimson red colour as he started to shout. "IF YOU AS SO MUCH LAY ONE SINGLE FINGER ON THEM I WILL PERSONALLY ESCORT YOUR ASS ON A ONE WAY TICKET TO JIGOKU!"

"My, that would be interesting. I better get ready then since I killed them…oops."

"You what?!"

"I. Killed. Them." Duo felt his breathing become shorter and shorter.

"No…no. YOU BASTARD!! I WILL PERSONALLY HUNT YOU DOWN!"

"Duo? What's wrong?!" Quatre asked running up to him but Duo was too angry to even notice him.

"ANSWER ME DAMN IT!"

"You deserve every single amount of pain I can inflict on you 02."

"How did you know that?!"

"Does it matter? You'll be joining them soon anyway." The phone line went dead. Duo lost all feeling in his legs. He let the phone drop out of his hand and he sunk to the floor, wide-eyed and pale. Quatre grabbed him by the shoulders.

"Duo!! What happened?!"

"No, not again. I lost… why…again?!" Duo said helplessly.

"Lost what?!"

"Wufei…and…Michelle. They're dead Quatre. They've been killed." Quatre could've sworn he felt his eyes bug out of their sockets.

"What's up guys?" Trowa asked with Heero behind him. "We heard all the screaming."

"They got them Trowa." Quatre barely whispered.

"Got who?" Heero asked.

"Michelle…Wufei." Duo uttered.

"They're dead." Quatre said, clenching his fist in anger. Trowa looked down in sorrow, even Heero's facial expression changed.

"This is all my fault." Duo said.

"Don't say that. How can this be your fault?" Heero said.

"It's the curse of Shinigami isn't it?" Duo replied almost humorously. 

To Be Continued…

Ah, a cliffhanger! Why did Lady Une recognise the voice? Who is out for the Gundam pilots and now even Relena?! Stay tuned!


	3. As Catorce Gets Closer

A Pilot's Only Weakness pt3

**A Pilot's Only Weakness pt3.**

Disclaimer:

A/N: 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You know what, if they've gone after Michelle…what if they go after Hilde or…" Quatre said.

"Relena…" Trowa finished. He could've sworn he saw Heero's eyes on fire.

"Duo, I think you need to get a hold of Hilde. Get her somewhere safe." Heero said. "Don't use the phone…it could be bugged."

"Where are you going Heero?" Quatre asked.

"To make sure the death count doesn't increase." Heero left without another word.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"I wish I could've seen the looks on their faces." Catorce silently laughed to himself. Johansson silently looked on.

"Um, sir?"

"What is it?"

"Can I ask…why are you doing this? I mean the world is finally at peace. Isn't that one of the things you fought for?" The young private asked. The Baron sighed.

"The world may be at peace Private but I am not. I did fight in the war but…all that I fought for was wrong. I mean the person I'm doing this all for probably has no idea that I'm even alive or dead. That's why I've taken up this alias. I don't want her to know that I am responsible." He sighed and looked at the picture once again.

"Is that who you're fighting for now?" Johansson asked.

"She's the only person I ever wanted to fight for."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Zechs arrived at the mansion where Relena was stationed when she was in The United States of America. He walked up to the front door only to see that someone had beaten him there.

"Yuy." Zechs said curtly.

"Zechs." Heero replied in the same manner. Heero knocked on the front door and waited for an answer.

"So, what are you doing here?" Zechs asked.

"Same as you." Heero replied. "Ok, now I'm busting the door down."

"Ok…WHAT?!" Zechs exclaimed but Heero had already completed that mission. "You know, when you suddenly burst out with an idea it might be a better idea to change your tone of voice so I know what you're doing."

"If you're gonna whine all the way then I'll go myself." Heero said entering.

"Hn." Was Zechs' reply. They walked along the house.

"Is anyone home?" Heero called out but there was no answer. Zechs stopped next to a mirror. "This is no time to be checking out the state of your hair Zechs."

"You idiot. Take a look at this." Zechs said handing him a note. "It looks like we're too late. Damn it." Heero read over the note. He scrunched it up and then punched a wall leaving a huge dent.

"Why the hell is this happening?" Heero seethed.

"I don't know. But I'm damn sure I'm gonna kick this guy's ass."

"Take a number."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Duo came back to his house. Before he went in, he took a deep breath. He went inside.

"Did you find her?" Quatre asked hopefully. Duo shook his head. "Oh no…"

"If I ever get my hands on that son of a bitch…" Duo said flopping down on the couch and burying his head in his hands. Trowa looked on at his two fallen friends in sorrow and shared their pain, he had known Wufei for almost six years now and he really got on well with Michelle. The front door creaked open and they all looked saw…

"Michelle?!" The three pilots yelled.

"Hey what's going on?" Michelle asked. "Geez! Who died! Oh no…who died?!"

"You guys can see her right?! I'm not going crazy, right?!" Duo said in awe. The other boys nodded as Michelle gave them a funny look. "Miche, you're alive…"

"Is there a reason I shouldn't be?" Michelle asked. In a spilt second Duo and Quatre had engulfed her in a massive bear hug.

"Okay…I love you guys too? Um, can you let go? I can't breathe." Michelle said as they suddenly let go. "Trowa? What's up with…?" But she never got to finish her sentence as Trowa hugged her as well. "Trowa?"

"Oh…um, sorry." Trowa said letting go. He was blushing big time. Michelle just looked at them weirdly.

"What is going on?!" Michelle demanded.

"Well there was this guy and he said that you and Wufei were dead…and that he was coming for everyone else as well. He got Hilde too." Duo said. Michelle shook her head.

"No he didn't. Hilde's right outside." Michelle replied.

"WHAT?!" The three pilots exclaimed.

"Yeah, me and Wufei were taken to the hospital. I guess Hilde was closer so they called her and she took us home. They're outside." Michelle said.

She watched Duo zip outside with a curious look. Quatre just grabbed Michelle and kissed her for all he was worth. They broke the kiss with Michelle looking dazed.

"I should go to the hospital more often!" She smiled. Wufei came in the door with Hilde, Relena and Duo who had Hilde in his arms.

"Wufei!" Quatre exclaimed leaving Michelle and hugging Wufei.

"Geez!! What is the matter with you?" Wufei exclaimed. Quatre blushed.

"Sorry." Quatre uttered. "Relena? What are you doing here?"

"I was supposed to go shopping with Hilde and Michelle before a meeting this afternoon." Relena said. "What's happened?"

"…I think we need to explain a lot. Maybe we should wait for Heero to get back." Trowa sighed. They all sat down and waited for Heero to show up. About ten minutes later he arrived and almost blew the door down. He looked at the guests in the house and his eyes widened.

"Woah! Do that again!" Duo and Michelle exclaimed.

"How? But…you! I thought…YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD!!" Heero yelled. They all went wide-eyed as he composed himself. Zechs came running into the house out of breath from trying to catch up with Heero.

"Something's happened that…**breathes** Wufei and Michelle are dead…**breathes**Relena's disappeared…" Zechs said and then he looked over to the couch. "Hey guys…**breathes**…wait a sec."

"We're right there with ya buddy." Duo said, sighing heavily.

"Okay, we'd better start…" Quatre said.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"I wonder why Duo isn't answering his phone." Sally said. She sighed and left her office. She locked the door and rode the elevator down the parking floor. She walked across the parking lot.

_**Hmm, I could've sworn I heard something…must be my imagination.**_

She waved away her thoughts and proceeded towards her car. Sally heard the noise again. She turned around to see what it was and found herself facing a black Mercedes heading towards her. She tried to out run it but it was keeping up with her. She had no choice but to run back to the elevator.

"I said to myself let me do the running training this year but no! I had to give it to Noin instead!" Sally said as she pressed the button of the elevator. Just as the Mercedes zoned in on Sally, the doors of the elevator opened and she dived in. Frantically, she pressed the lobby floor and the doors closed but not without a big dent from the Mercedes.

"Oh my god…" Sally uttered, pale from shock. "I wonder what that was all about.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Okay, we were at the shopping centre and there was no one there. Totally deserted. Then some idiots started to shoot at us, got Wufei in the arm. Anyhoo, they set off an explosion and knocked me unconscious and Wufei did that suspended animation thingy to make it look as if he were dead." Michelle explained. The others nodded, telling her to go on. "Then, we were taken to the hospital. I guess they looked up our records or something coz they said they phoned here and the line was busy so they phone Hilde."

"Right. Relena had just pulled up so that we could go shopping. We went to the hospital and picked these two up." Hilde finished off.

"But the note we found at your place said 'Won't be returning. Don't bother making dinner.' What was that about?" Heero asked.

"That was a note for Pagan…wait a second. What were you doing at my house?!" Relena demanded.

"We thought you had been kidnapped." Zechs explained.

"Don't you think I can take care of myself? You should've recognised my handwriting anyway!" Relena scolded.

"OK!" Duo yelled stopping a would-be argument. "We know that someone is out for us right? So the best thing now is for us to stay in contact and never go out alone."

"I agree. For once." Wufei half-laughed.

"So, we're agreed?" Heero asked as everyone else nodded.

"I guess the shopping trip's cancelled, huh?" Relena said.

"Guess so." Hilde replied.

"We can reschedule! No two faced idiot is gonna stand in the way of three girls' shopping!" Michelle declared dramatically.

"But…" Relena started.

"Don't worry Lena! I've seen you at summer sales. You've got quite a left hook!" Hilde smiled as Relena blushed.

"Wait a second." Zechs said, looking over at Wufei and Michelle. "He thinks that you two are dead."

"Then let's keep it that way." Quatre replied. "We don't wanna piss off a psycho maniac anymore." 

"DUO!!" Michelle suddenly yelled.

"What?!"

"Is that my hair band?!" The others face vaulted.

"Um, hehe, yeah…" Duo said sheepishly. Michelle suddenly grabbed his braid and pulled it close so she could inspect the hair band. "Um, ow!!"

"Are you two at all like this?" Wufei asked as Relena and Zechs shook their heads.

"It's ruined!" Michelle exclaimed.

"I'll get you another one, hehe."

"I don't see what's so funny!!"

"Sorry…"

"Run, and run fast. BECAUSE WHEN I CATCH YOU!!!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" Duo yelled as he ran around the house.

"COME BACK HERE!!" Michelle yelled, hot on his heels.

"This is a case of the no mind pursuing the no mind." Trowa said shaking his head.

"I SAID I WAS SORRY!! PUT DOWN THE SCYTHE!!" Duo yells were heard from upstairs.

"I don't wanna know…" Heero muttered.

"I'LL CHOP OFF YOUR BRAID FOR THIS!! I TOLD YOU NOT TO TOUCH MY HAIR ACCESSORIES!!"

"I DIDN'T!! JUST YOUR HAIR BAND!! OWCH!! WATCH IT!!"

"LET'S SEE HOW SHINIGAMI LIKES TO BE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE SCYTHE FOR A CHANGE!!!"

"HELP!!"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Soon after, everyone else had left and only Wufei and Trowa were in the house. Michelle and Quatre had gone to Michelle's apartment in Boston and were on the couch, watching TV.

"I thought I had lost you today." Quatre said running his hand through her hair.

"I'm stronger than that. I'm Shinigami's little sister." Michelle smiled as she snuggled closer to him. Quatre chuckled slightly.

"At least your safe now." Quatre said.

"I don't think any of us are safe yet."

"How come?"

"I don't know. Just a feeling…" Michelle started but Quatre made sure she didn't talk any more.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Sally! Are you okay?" Noin asked.

"Some idiot tried to run me over in the parking garage downstairs." Sally replied. Noin's eyes widened.

"Oh my God. This is getting out of hand." Noin said. "There is a bit of good news though. I just in touch with Zechs and it seems that Wufei and Michelle are all right after all. False alarm."

"Thank goodness." Sally breathed a sigh of relief.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine." Sally smiled. "I'm just glad they're okay."

"You mean Wufei don't you?" Noin asked as Sally's face turned as red as her lipstick.

"No! I meant both of them." Sally insisted.

"Mmm hmm." Noin smirked. "But seriously now, what are we going to do? We have no idea who this guy is and what he wants. Or where he'll strike next."

"But at least we know that there is someone after us. It may give us a bit of an edge against him." Sally pondered.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Hilde, what's wrong?" Duo asked his fiancée. They were at her apartment.

"I don't know why this sort of stuff keeps happening to us. I mean, when you went off to fight against Mariemeia…I was so scared that I'd never see you again. We have been at peace for four years now…" Hilde sighed and looked Duo in the eye. "Promise me we'll make it to the aisle Duo."

"Of course we will babe." Duo smiled, kissing her forehead. She just looked at him with an exasperated look.

"Duo, I said promise me not tell me."

"Alright. I promise that I will marry you and that no serial killer wannabe is going to stop us."

"Thanks. I have something I wanted to tell you but with all that's going on…"

"Sshh, you can tell me anything babe."

"I…I'm pregnant." Hilde waited for Duo's reaction. She looked up at him and saw that he was grinning more widely than she had ever seen. "Duo?"

"WOO HOO!" Duo yelled jumping up. "I'm gonna be a dad! There's gonna be a chibi Shinigami running around!! HAHA!! YES!"

"I'm glad you're okay with this." Hilde smiled.

"Okay?! I'm ecstatic!" Duo said pulling Hilde towards him and kissing her deeply. "I love you babe."

"I love you too."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"We will now go after the required targets and take them to the jet, after which we will set off to our base. So, is everyone clear on the plan?" Catorce asked. His face was in the shadows of a lamp so it gave him an eerie look.

"Yes sir!" The soldiers replied. They set out of the secret base and climbed into three different cars. They decided not to take the jeeps since it was too suspicious. They set off in three different directions. Their boss looked on and smiled slightly.

"As a great man once said, the second act is about to begin. We'll be busy." He loaded up his gun and put it in its pouch.

One van stopped outside a big white house in the suburbs. Three soldiers walked out, one dressed in civilian clothes and the other two in fatigues. The one dressed in 'civvies' knocked on the front door, knowing that either Heero or Zechs were at the house. Luckily for them, Zechs had to go report back to the Preventers' headquarters (USA division) so only Heero was there. The soldier pretended to ask Heero for directions while the other two went into Relena's room.

They entered her room and put a cloth over her mouth and nose, which had a chemical that knocked her out before she could protest. They climbed down the window and snuck Relena into the back seat. They rolled up to the front entrance and the guy talking to Heero walked off and into the car. Heero gave a puzzled look and then went back inside.

"Something's not right here." Heero said to himself as he ran upstairs to check on Relena. He tore off the covers and saw that she was gone. "Relena…"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Duo, I wanna go downstairs and get a drink, will you let go of me?" Hilde said, a hint of humour in her voice. Duo pouted and reluctantly let go.

"You know, I spoil you." Duo smirked as he pulled up the covers and went to sleep.

"Yeah, right." Hilde smirked. She went downstairs and turned on the faucet. She reached for a cup when suddenly a hand grabbed her wrist. She turned around and tried to strike her attacker but another hand clamped a cloth over her hand and mouth so that she couldn't breath. She fell unconscious. The glass in her hand fell and smashed on the floor. Duo's ears perked up at the sound and he got a horrible feeling in his gut.

"Hilde?! HILDE!!" Duo yelled as he ran downstairs to find the debris of glass on the floor. He sank to the floor with wide eyes. "No…" was all that he could utter as he helplessly looked at the floor. "Hilde…"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

To Be Continued…

Where has Baron Catorce taken Hilde and Relena? Who is Baron Catorce? I'll stop sounding like the DBZ narrator and say find out next time!


	4. "I Did It For The Lady"

A Pilot's Only Weakness pt3

**A Pilot's Only Weakness pt4.**

Disclaimer: I don't the Gundam Wing characters.

A/N: I forgot to fill this in last time. Oops. Anyhoo, this may be the last chapter for quite a while since I NOW HAVE A CASE OF WRITER'S BLOCK!! Maybe a few more reviews would get me going. Hint, hint. Nudge, nudge. Wink, wink. Oh and I'm assuming since people have the technology to send people to go and live in space that they've made aeroplanes that go much faster than the ones we have. ^_^

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The phone rang continuously as Quatre and Michelle slept. Quatre put a pillow over his head to ignore it but Michelle slept through it. He finally decided to pick up the phone.

"Geez, she sleeps like her brother." Quatre muttered. He rubbed his eye sleepily. "Hello?"

"QUATRE! Why in the hell did it take you so long to pick up?" Duo yelled.

"Gee I dunno. Maybe it's because it's 1am." Quatre replied.

"This is no time for sarcasm. Hilde's been kidnapped."

"Are you sure?"

"WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT?!"

"Sorry. I'll meet you at your house." They hung up. "Michelle, wake up hon."

"Why?" Michelle asked, asleep.

"I got pancakes." Quatre said popping his pants on. She woke up in an instant.

"Hey!" Michelle exclaimed whacking him upside the head. "Never trick me with breakfast!"

"What was I thinking?" Quatre asked sarcastically.

"You're not a morning person are you?"

"Hilde's been kidnapped." There was a long silence.

"Oh my gosh…I see the pattern!" 

"Pattern?" Quatre asked.

"Well what have all five of you Gundam pilots got in common?" Michelle asked getting dressed.

"Um…why don't I let you answer that? It's a little too early for me." Quatre replied.

"Okay, you all have someone you care about that can't defend themselves in battle. Duh! That's why he 'killed' me. Of course, he might try to get Sally too." Michelle said exasperated.

"What about Hilde? She was an OZ soldier for a while."

"She can't fight in her condition."

"Huh?"

"Oops."

"You mean she's pregnant?!"

"You know, with that whole empathy thing going on it's like you have a backstage pass to my mind."

"This just made things a whole lot more difficult."

"This is all my fault."

"Why?"

"Um. HELLO!! Ex FBI agent in the house! Most probably my fault!"

"No one thinks that. Don't be silly."

"You'd be surprised what people think when they're angry."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

An old military base in New Edwards… 

Hilde and Relena both woke up around the same time. They looked at their surroundings and it looked like they were in an abandoned mobile suit hanger.

"Ah! You're awake. How pleasant of you to join me!" Baron Catorce said emerging from the shadows.

"You! This is all your fault!" Relena yelled.

"Guilty as charged." Catorce chuckled. "So, this is the woman that the Perfect Soldier has chosen to settle down with."

"I thought Duo's codename was Shinigami." Hilde said.

"I'm not talking about you." Baron Catorce said.

"Well you're mistaken. Heero doesn't mean anything to me." Relena lied.

"Well that may be so, but can you say that he feels the same." Catorce smirked. Relena fell silent.

"They'll figure out where we are you know. Then you'll be sorry." Hilde curtly said.

"Hmm? Why's that?"

"You're no threat to them." Hilde said bitterly. Anger grew in Catorce's face as he struck his hand across her cheek.

"Shut up." Catorce said as he walked away from them, leaving them with a guard.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Sally and Noin had hopped on the first flight to Boston and had gotten there within two hours. Zechs was already at Duo's as were the rest of the G-boys along with Michelle. Lady Une had decided to stay at the Preventer headquarters just in case.

"Does anyone have any ideas as to whom this could be?" Quatre asked.

"Une said she recognised the voice when he called us." Noin said. "So, we're assuming that it's an old OZ soldier."

"Yeah, he even tried to run me down in a parking garage." Sally said.

"You outrun it right?" Wufei asked, concerned.

"If I didn't I wouldn't be here." Sally replied. "Why?"

"No reason." Wufei quickly replied. Sally just smirked.

"But why would they want Relena and Hilde? It doesn't make any sense." Zechs said angrily.

"Well, maybe he knows that he's struck a nerve. Having all of you angry like this doesn't exactly mean you're gonna be in a calm state of mind." Michelle said.

"Oh really! Well just because you're an ex-agent doesn't mean you can tell me what state of mind I'm in!" Zechs yelled.

"Zechs, please calm down." Noin said.

"I wasn't being condescending you know! I was just telling you my opinion!" Michelle said sternly.

"How do we know that this isn't your fault?!" Zechs yelled back.

"Excusé moi, huh?" Michelle asked.

"It could all be some looney from your old organisation trying to get even with you." Zechs said.

"That is enough Marquise!! Back off!" Duo said, standing in front of his sister.

"Make me you braided baka!" Zechs yelled.

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Heero yelled, standing between the two of them. "This is exactly what he wants. You want to give him that satisfaction?"

"Well he shouldn't yell at her like that." Duo replied.

"But he's right." Michelle said. Everyone turned to look at her. "It's a strong possibility that this is my fault."

"Don't say that…" Quatre said trying to put an arm around her but she shook it off.

"No! I have to because none of you will listen. It's a possibility whether you want to hear it or not." Michelle walked off and slammed a room door.

"Wow, for once a woman was pissed off and I wasn't the cause of it." Wufei smirked. Sally gave him an elbow in the ribs. "What?!"

"There. Are you happy now?" Duo asked Zechs as he sat down frustrated.

Michelle sat in the room and looked up at the ceiling. Zechs' shouts of accusation were all that was running through her head. Then it hit her. She quickly walked out of the room, went into Duo's and got his laptop that Heero got him for Christmas since he wouldn't stop touching his. She quickly grabbed a bag that she had left at Duo's. There was a knock at the door.

"Who is it?" Michelle asked.

"It's Trowa." Trowa replied. She quickly hid as much stuff as she could under the bed.

"Come in." He sat next to her on the bed.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"Fine. Just overreacted, you know how it is." Michelle replied.

"Sure, I have a sister." Trowa said. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Fire away."

"Where do you think you are going?" Trowa asked holding up her bag.

"Quatre taught you that thing he does, didn't he?"

"You didn't answer my question." Michelle sighed.

"You have to promise me you won't tell anybody."

"Miche…"

"Please Trowa! You have to promise me." She said looking him directly in the eye. He sighed.

"Ok, I promise."

"I'm gonna go find them."

"You can't go, it's too dangerous. Besides, Duo would kill you."

"I have to try something! It kills me just sitting here when this could all be my fault."

"Don't you think that everyone else in this house is thinking the exact same thing?"

"Not Zechs…"

"Don't pay any attention to him. Ever since he got married to Noin he's been such a hothead."

"Trowa I've got to do this."

"Have you at least thought this through?"

"Yes."

"How long?"

"Two minutes?"

"You know that isn't long enough."

"Trowa! You promised you wouldn't tell!"

"But I didn't promise that I wouldn't stop you. Quatre's like a brother to me, I can't lie to him!"

"I never said lie, I just said to avoid talking. It's not like you talk that much anyway…" Trowa smirked slightly.

"But it's too dangerous."

"Fine. I won't go rescue them."

"Thank you."

"I'll just go and find their location so you guys can get them."

"Michelle…" Trowa sighed. "You are one stubborn girl."

"Thanks Trowa." Michelle said, giving him a hug. She grabbed her stuff and climbed out of the window.

"Ay, I'm beginning to reconsider Wufei's 'all onnas are evil' thing."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Michelle walked to a toll bridge and knocked on the window. A blonde woman poked her head out and smiled.

"Wow! M&M! How can I help you?" The blonde woman asked.

"Jools, I need your help. Have there been any planes rented lately?"

"What kinda planes honey?" Jools asked.

"Military planes."

"I thought you were finished with that sort of stuff."

"It's different now, family's involved."

"Say no more, there was one big one rented. It went to New Edwards. Don't know what for."

"New Edwards? What's there?" Michelle asked.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Can I at least have a glass of water?" Hilde asked.

"I have been told not to leave this post." The guard replied. Hilde sweat dropped.

"Geez!" She muttered. "How are you doing Relena?"

"Okay I suppose." Relena smiled. "I suppose I could rest easier if I knew why we were here."

"I just hope someone comes to rescue us. I never thought in my lifetime that I would rely on the boys to bust me out of a jam." Hilde smirked.

_**Oh Heero…**_ Relena thought to herself.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"So, how's Michelle doing?" Quatre asked.

"Kinda absent." Trowa said.

"What do you mean?" Duo asked.

"She's gone. Out the window." Trowa replied.

"Oh hell no!" Duo cried. "Do you know where she could've gone?"

"Sorry." Trowa said.

"This is so irresponsible!! How could she just leave?" Zechs yelled.

"With the way you're going on I'm not surprised she did leave." Wufei retorted. Quatre remained silent.

He thought to himself. Trowa saw the pained expression on his best friends face and felt his pain too. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"An old military base?" Michelle asked herself. "Wait, duh! Where else would he go? Now the question is, how am I going to get there?……… Jools!!" 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Is the phone plugged in? She might call." Sally asked. Duo nodded solemnly. All of them sat there in silence until the phone rang. Except Heero, they all dashed towards it and landed in a big pile two feet from the phone. Heero calmly walked towards it and picked it up.

"Any one of us could've done that you know." Duo said.

"Hello?" Heero answered.

"Well hello there pilot currently known as Yuy. How are you?"

"Enough with the pleasantries. Where have you taken Relena and Hilde?"

"All in good time. But first, I want to know how much time it will take me to drive you all to insanity." Catorce chortled.

"You mean the kind of insanity you're at? That may take a while."

"I wouldn't say that if I were you. That might get the head of a certain blonde woman…hurt."

"You wouldn't dare…"

"I'm a very daring man."

"I wouldn't call you a man. Kidnapping innocent women and using a voice synthesiser so I wouldn't recognise you."

"How…"

"You think I didn't know?! I'm a Gundam pilot damn it!"

"Well then, you should be very familiar with the term 'detonation device'. Have a nice day." The phone line went.

"What did he say?" Zechs asked.

"He hasn't hurt them. Yet."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Jackpot! Thanks Frankie!" Michelle yelled as she leapt off the plane.

"Wait! You might need this!" Frankie yelled tossing her a gun.

"Again I thank you." Michelle smiled.

"Sure! Just make sure you let me meet this brother of yours." Frankie said. "I'll be in a hanger near here, so buzz me when you need me."

Michelle walked quite a long time before she found the building. She walked in the back entrance and started down a corridor, watching out for security cameras and guards. She found a room and to her surprise there were Relena and Hilde tied up with no guard in the room.

"Jackpot!" Michelle cried softly. "I'd better call home." But before she could do anything a blow was struck to the back of her head.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Nnng, my head…" Michelle groaned. "Where the heck am I?" She looked over and saw Hilde on her left and Relena on her right.

"You're finally up." Hilde tried to smile but grimaced in pain. Her face was bloody and bruised. Relena also looked a bit beat up but nowhere near as much as Hilde.

"Oh my God! What happened to you?" Michelle asked, concerned.

"She opened her mouth to much." A voice said as she looked up to see her kidnapper.

"You! Are…are you the one that has been causing us all this grief?!" Michelle demanded.

"In a word yes." He replied. A low growl emitted from Michelle's throat. "I'm not sure how you managed to escape death…but then again my officer only checked the pulse of Wufei Chang. I guess you cowardly hid so that we wouldn't know."

"What do you want with us? We haven't caused you any harm and yet you just callously beat us up and all we asked you was why? So if you're going to kill me then at least give me the satisfaction of knowing why you're doing this." Relena said staring him in the eye.

"For the Lady." He replied.

"Lady…you mean Lady Une?!" Michelle exclaimed. "That was unexpected."

"All I ever did for her was fight and put up with her mood swings…and then what did she do? Praise the pilots who she was fighting so hard against. It angered me to no end that she never paid any attention to me or what I was doing for her." He said, his face becoming more solemn as he recalled the memories. Hilde and Relena sweat-dropped.

"So, what your basically saying is boo hoo Lady Une likes the mean pilots better than me. I am so heartbroken." Michelle replied sarcastically. He turned to her and struck her across the face with the butt of his gun. It was a miracle she wasn't unconscious, just a bruise on her face.

"How dare you say that?" He asked. "What gives you the right?"

"You striking my two friends. You terrorising my family. You just breathing gives me the right to say that you bastard." Michelle uttered with such contempt and hatred that the other two girls felt fear creeping upon them. He grabbed her face in his hand and put his face in front of hers. They were almost nose-to-nose when he let go and stared her in the eye.

"Why can't I kill you?" He asked. She moved so that she was at the side of his head.

"Because you can't kill the sister of death." She whispered. He backed away from her as she leaned back on her chair with a very Duo like smirk. He regained his composure and looked at her with a cocky grin.

"So, imooto no Shinigami, how do you presume that you'll survive my wrath?" He asked.

"Because she knows what happens when you piss off former Gundam pilots. That's how." Hilde said bitterly.

"I don't care if the former Gundam pilots are displeased with me. The fact is that they are _former_ pilots which means they haven't been in combat for years. If they're something to fear then why was I able to kill Wufei?" He asked. Michelle scowled. "What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?"

"Maybe I'm just sick and tired of talking to a maniac." Michelle muttered. He left the room laughing sadistically.

"I can't believe he left us in here without any guards!" Relena said.

"Just see it as a lucky break." Hilde replied.

_**C'mon! C'mon!!** _Michelle said to herself as she tried to undo her rope. Luckily, he had only bounded their arms.

"Michelle, do you have anyway that the boys can get to us?" Relena asked. Michelle's face suddenly lit up.

"Lena, you are a genius." Michelle smirked. "If only I could get my hands free…"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"So, Lady Une recognised the voice…" Quatre pondered. "But, we really never knew any of the other OZ soldiers that well."

"Right now I think we need to concentrate on finding them rather than who it is." Trowa said.

"You're right." Zechs agreed. "If there was only someway we could track them…" Quatre's face lit up.

"Track them!! That's it!!" Quatre exclaimed. "Do we have any equipment that can detect cell phones?"

"Quatre, you are just lucky that I have a lot of free time on my hands." Duo said grinning as he pulled out a cell phone detector.

"I swear, you guys just get weirder and weirder." Noin smirked.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"But what are you gonna do with a cell?" Relena asked.

"Well if I phone Duo hopefully they can track it to where we are. Something about radio waves…I never really cared for physics." Michelle squirmed to get her hands free. "Bingo!" She quickly got her cell out of her pocket and dialled Duo's number. She held the phone between her shoulder and neck as she untied the other girls.

The phone rang at Duo's and everyone, except Trowa, clambered to the phone only to land on a big heap. Trowa calmly walked to the phone and picked it up.

"Not again…" Noin moaned, as she was on the bottom of the pile.

"Show off…" Wufei muttered.

"Hello?" Trowa answered.

"Trowa! It's Miche." Trowa's eyes widened.

"There's something you don't see everyday." Sally commented.

"Michelle!! Are you alright?! Where are you?" Trowa asked frantically. Cries of 'put her on speaker!!' came from the dog pile.

"We're not as good as we'd like to be…listen, we don't know where we are but it looks like an old base. I think we're still on the colony."

"Listen, keep on the line as long as you can. We've got a tap on the phone."

"Sure. So, how is everybody?"

"They're kind of top of each other." Trowa smirked as the others tried to get up. "Do we need to bring an ambulance?"

"Definitely. Hilde's beat up pretty badly and so is Lena."

"What about you?"

"I got a bruise on my face for watching too many 9 'o' clock movies."

"I know this is a weird question to ask but…did he say anything weird?"

"Now that you mention it, he did say that he was doing all this for Lady Une."

"Well that cinches it."

"Let me guess. Jinkies, Trowa's found a clue."

"Exactly. Well we've got the trace…we'll get there as soon as we can. Michelle? Michelle!"

"Her phone line has been disconnected." A male voice rasped as the line went dead. Trowa turned around to the others.

"We need to get there fast. That man is very unstable." Trowa stated.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"What in the hell do you think you are doing?" Catorce demanded.

"What does it look like? Geez, for a criminal mastermind you sure are stupid." Michelle replied nonchalantly. Catorce growled in anger.

"Sit down." He ordered.

"Like hell I will." Michelle said blowing a roundhouse kick to his head. "Quick, try and help Hilde while I get his gun!" Relena slung Hilde's arm over her shoulder and proceeded as Michelle said to do. Unfortunately for them, Private Johansson was waiting for them outside the door.

"You'd better do as he said to. Or else he might kill you." Johansson said.

"What? Are you afraid of him? He's unconscious! Will you just let us go? Can't you see how much pain she is in?!" Relena asked in despair. Johansson wore a look of guilt for a split second but then straightened up and pointed a gun towards the two.

"Get back in there. No one is leaving." They sat down, defeated.

To Be Continued…


	5. Catorce Revealed

**A Pilot's Only Weakness pt5.**

Disclaimer: I don't the Gundam Wing characters.

A/N: Sorry it took me so long. Only 2 people are actually reading this so I think I'm entitled to take my time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Where's the call coming from Trowa?" Duo asked after the dog pile had dispersed.

"New Edwards…" Trowa replied.

"We need to get there and fast." Zechs said as he rushed out of the door. He suddenly rushed back in again. "So, how are we going to get there?" He asked. Everyone else face-faulted.

"We should've known really." Quatre said, sighing. "We should be able to get there in a half an hour. I just hope my plane is still there."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Catorce finally regained consciousness and looked at the girls with complete contempt.

"I hate you." Catorce said. "You are just as annoying as those stupid Gundam pilots."

"Thanks!" All three girls said as Johansson sweat-dropped.

"I don't even know why I bothered to do this anymore…" Catorce muttered, a memory had popped up in his mind.

_**Flashback**_

"I heard that Lady Une got shot because she was trying to protect the Gundam pilots." One oz soldier said. Catorce looked at him in total disbelief.

"Really?" He asked.

"Yah, real weird! She was enemies with them before…then again…"

Catorce stormed out of the room in complete anger. He walked pass the room that Lady Une was in. She was hooked up to an oxygen mask. He saw Treize walk into the room and tried to read his lips.

"Lady," Treize started. "What have you done? Trying to protect them to ensure my dream. Hmm…you always were a committed soldier my dear Lady." Treize said, planting a small kiss on her forehead. Catorce growled in anger and contempt.

"My lady…I will have you some day." Catorce said before walking away.

_**End Flashback**_

"Secure the entrances and exits. You can be sure that the pilots traced Nancy Drew's phone call." Catorce seethed. Johansson saluted.

"Right away sir!" He said dashing off. Catorce smirked maniacally.

"We're in for one hell of a fight ladies. Yes indeed." Catorce said, as he dimmed the lights in the room.

**This is your fault you know…** 

_**No! No one knows that for sure!**_

_**But Zechs knew, he saw it perfectly clear.**_

_**Shut up!**_

_**This is all your fault. Hilde's pregnant, what if this causes a miscarriage?**_

_**Shut up!**_

_**You'd have killed your only brother's child! How can you live with yourself?!**_

_**It's not my-**_

_**Oh but it is! It's all your fault! Your fault!**_

_**No!**_

_**Your fault… Your fault… Your fault… Your fault… Your fault…**_

_**NO!**_

**Your fault…** 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Have we got everything we need?" Noin asked.

"Yep, every arsenal that I've got hidden away in my basement." Duo grinned.

"Hilde is sure in for a handful." Quatre said, sweat-dropping.

"This is just like the old days, huh?" Sally asked Wufei as they set up some ammo.

"What old days? I don't remember having any old days with you!" Wufei said defensively. Heero and Trowa rolled their eyes.

"Are we there yet Zechs?" Trowa asked.

"Almost, but from what I can see they're ready for us." Zechs replied from the pilot's seat. Duo cracked his knuckles and smirked maniacally.

"Sweet! Coz we're ready for them too." Duo said. Zechs landed the plane. They all climbed out and dispersed in different directions. Noin was making sure that the plane wasn't damaged since it was their getaway. Her and Zechs defended against as many soldiers as they could while the others searched for an entrance.

They found one but they were also found by a couple of soldiers firing aimlessly at them.

"Listen, you guys go. Me and Barton will hold off these guys." Wufei said pulling out a rifle.

"Thanks Wufei. Trowa." Heero said as he, Quatre, Sally and Duo all ran off to find the girls. They ran past a couple of doors and found them.

"Jackpot!" Duo said as he ran in. "Oh God…" He uttered as he saw them sat up in the chairs but oddly enough they weren't tied up.

"Why are they just sitting there? they could've have escaped a long time ago." Sally said as Quatre looked at them quizzically.

"Are you guys ok?" Quatre asked.

"They're fine, of course they won't be if you take one step closer." Catorce's voice rang through the room.

"Where in the hell are you?!" Duo yelled.

"That's for me to know yadda, yadda, yadda…" Catorce said with a hint of humour in his voice. Duo tried to take another step. "Ah, ah, ah!"

"Why don't you show yourself…Lieutenant Nichol?" Heero yelled. There was a long silence.

"But…how did you know it was me?" Nichol asked.

"Because you're an idiot who left a trail of clues a mile long. Even though you used a voice synthesiser, your pattern of speech was still the same. I could tell quite easily." Heero replied. Nichol seethed as he let out an agonising yell.

"It's funny how you can do that to so many people Heero." Duo said. Suddenly, there was the sound of a gun being cocked into place.

"Oh dear God no…" Sally uttered. Nichol started to laugh maniacally.

"So many hopefuls to choose from! Contestant number one! The ex-queen of the world! Contestant two, ex-oz soldier and contestant number three an ex-agent…so many exes so few bullets." Nichol said.

"Don't do it! Your fight is with us not them!" Quatre pleaded.

"But I can get to you through them without having my ass handed to me on a plate. They are your weaker links…so which one is going goodbye?"

_**Weaker links…oh my God! He means…**_

_**It's your fault…you've got to stop it…**_

"What do we do?! We'll never get there in time! If he fires the bullet, there are three of them he's aiming at!" Quatre said frantically.

"…Goodbye!" Nichol said as he fired the gun.

"NO!" 

The shot was fired. The target was hit.

"No…" Duo uttered. Michelle was holding her thigh wound as blood went trickling down to the floor. She was standing in front of a very surprised Hilde.

"Michelle? Why…" Hilde tried to put together a sentence but failed. Michelle turned around to look at her. She smiled weakly.

"Couldn't let the little one down…one of us Maxwells has to have a happy life." Michelle laughed slightly as she fell to the ground. The others ran towards them. Sally checked out Relena's and Hilde's wounds. Duo ran over to Hilde and hugged her.

"Babe, I thought I was going to lose you." Duo said.

"Your sis was protecting us the whole time…she's a lot like you, ya know." Hilde said. Heero walked over and looked at Relena.

"You are one crazy woman to survive this." Heero said to her. She just smiled.

"I had a good teacher Mr Yuy." Relena replied as Heero, yet again, tried to a fight the blush that was creeping on his face.

Quatre checked Michelle's wound. He took off his sweatshirt and wrapped it around her to apply pressure so the bleeding would stop.

"You're gonna be ok right?" Quatre asked. 

"Course! I've been trained for this sort of thing!" Michelle smirked, then she started to cough again.

"I don't know if I'll be able to live through you, you're like a hurricane." Quatre smiled lovingly at her. Duo let go of Hilde and looked to his twin. His face darkened as his bangs covered his eyes. He sat beside Quatre, his fists were shaking.

"Are you crazy?! What the hell did you think you were doing?!" Duo yelled at her. "There had to have been another way! You're such a show off!!"

"You're welcome." Michelle said. Duo frowned. "Ah c'mon don't look at me like that! I lived through an explosion for God's sake! I'll be fine…" Duo just looked at her with watery eyes.

"You dare die and I'll come to the afterlife and kick you ass." Duo smirked as a tear rolled down his face.

"Go to your fiancée, I'm fine you asswipe!" Michelle said as Quatre sweat-dropped slightly. Sally looked over Michelle and smiled slightly.

"I honestly don't know what you're made of, but you're going to be fine. From what I can see, it only grazed you but we'll get you to a hospital just in case." Sally smiled. She and Quatre lifted Michelle as Duo and Heero helped up their significant others.

"Aw damn! We let psycho dude get away!" Duo suddenly remembered.

"Not necessarily." Trowa said emerging in the doorway.

"How in the blue hell does he do that?" Michelle asked.

"We caught Nichol…" Trowa started.

"So, where is he?" Heero asked. Trowa sweat-dropped and pointed outside. They looked out into the corridor where Wufei was mercilessly pummelling Nichol.

"Take that! And that! Try and kill my onna will you!" Wufei said.

"I told you so!" Michelle exclaimed as Heero, Duo and Trowa each fished out a wad of money and handed it to her. She grinned goofily and made her hand into a V sign.

A couple of months later… 

"Well it's the big day." Trowa stated.

"Yup. Heero, you're the best man, right?" Wufei asked. Heero nodded. "THEN HOW IN THE HELL COULD YOU LOSE THE GROOM?!?!?!?!?!"

"It's not my fault he's an idiot." Heero stated as the other three pilots face-faulted.

"What are we going to do? He's getting married in less than ten minutes and we don't even know where he is." Quatre said frantically. There was a knock on the door.

"Who is it?" The four g-boys asked.

"Michelle!" She said. They all sighed in relief as she opened the door. She walked in on a cane to help her walk. The injury had been more serious that Sally had initially thought. She walked back and dragged Duo, dressed in his tux, into the room.

"Thank goodness. Where in the world did you find him?" Quatre asked.

"Where else, in the donut shop stuffing his face." Michelle smiled. Quatre looked at her quizzically.

"Maxwell, you baka." Wufei shook his head in disgust.

"Let's get you to the altar." Heero said shaking his head as Duo just laughed as he was pushed out the door.

"Miche, wait a sec." Quatre said. She turned around to look at him. "I could tell you were lying…where was he?" Michelle sighed.

"I found him at a graveyard. He was paying respects to the people he knew that died when he was young." Michelle said sadly. "I don't know who they were…but he must've cared a great deal about them."

"Duo is certainly one of the most enigmatic people I know." Quatre said.

"But then again you also know Trowa." Michelle laughed.

"Are you sure you'll be able to walk down the aisle with your leg?" Quatre asked, concerned.

"Dude! Don't worry! I'm just fine!" Michelle laughed waving her hand.

After the ceremony… 

The ceremony was so beautiful and moving that there was hardly a dry eye in the house. So it was the reception and it was time for Heero to give a speech. He stood up and tapped the glass. As everyone looked up at him, he felt a blush creeping onto his face.

"Ahem. I have known Duo for a while now. I think we're such good friends because the 1st time we met he tried to shoot me. Of course when you're as Trigger Happy as I am that's a good thing." Heero said as everyone laughed. "His wife…oh I won't lie. The poor woman has her hands full trying to take care of this hyper kid. But all the best to them! To Duo and Hilde!"

"Duo and Hilde!" The crowd chorused as they drank up.

Above, in the balcony of the hotel a mysterious figure stood watching the crowd. A small chuckle was heard as another person stepped behind the first.

"So, Nichol couldn't finish the job huh?" The second person asked. The first person growled.

"It is of no matter. He couldn't focus with his love for Une. We shouldn't have hired him in the first place." The first person said. "We need to get this done."

"I think you're moving a bit too fast. Let them all settle down, have some kids and think they're safe."

"What will that do?"

"Let them drop their guard. Then we can strike when they least expect it."

"Heh…"

"What?"

"You're nothing like our father you know. He would've wanted peace."

"Our father died. Look what peace got him…"

The End

Yes. You didn't read wrong! This is the end of this story. If I get requests then maybe I'll continue with it ^_~ See ya!


	6. Stuff You Didn't Get To See

**A Pilot's Only Weakness: The Unseen Footage.**

Disclaimer: Nope, don't own a thing dudes.

A/N: In the prequel to this many people asked for bloopers if I did a sequel. Well now that I have, here it is!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_ACTION!_

Nichol is sitting in the dark room. Johansson opens the door and the blinding light is let in.

"AAAAAH!! MY EYES!" Nichol yells as he falls out of the chair. The rest of the crew promptly crack up.

_ACTION!!_

"Excuse me? Do you know when the shuttle from Colony L2 is arriving?" Quatre asks.

"Yes, it should be there in about two minutes." The woman replies.

"Really?! Where?!"

"Calm down sir! It's on the other side of the station." Quatre proceeds to run off but slips on something on the floor and crashes into the camera. Only the sound is left.

"Alright? Who left the hair gel on the floor?!" 

"Hehehe, sorry Quat."

"Heero?!"

"What? Did you think that my hair was naturally like this?!" The set roars with laughter.

_3,2,1 ACTION!!_

"What's wrong?"

"Huh? Nothing! Nothing's, hehe, wrong Michelle!" Quatre says hastily as they walk outside.

"There are plenty of things wrong. First, you're talking as if you're being watched or something! Second, you're driving the…ridiculously large 18-wheeler truck. Bwahaha!" Michelle cracks up as Quatre blushes.

"Toyota called. They wanted their red convertible back." Duo's voice is heard off camera as Quatre blows him a raspberry.

_ACTION!!_

Heero tries to step out of his car but trips on something and falls out. Duo sticks his head into the shot.

"Poor Heewo! He fall down go BOOM!" Duo says with a big grin. Heero just gives him the finger.

_MARKER…ACTION!!_

"I thought you weren't supposed to show emotions."

"Sarcasm is not an emotion, for you it's more like a way of life."

"Ooh!! I've got something to show you!" Duo exclaims running into his room.

"He can act like such a child sometimes." Heero says. Duo appears with a water gun full of green gook.

"You know what? You're right!" Duo says as he proceeds to fire at Heero.

_AAACTIOON!!_

"QUATRE!" Quatre's five sisters shriek.

"WHAT?!" Quatre shrieks back as Michelle cracks up.

"Cut!" The director yells.

_ACTION!!!_

"So, you wanna just drive around?" Quatre asks, just about to open the door of the car.

"Nah, how about we take a romantic stroll?" Michelle says as she links her arm with Quatre's and walk off. The car explodes and bursts into flames.

"That's the last time I take car advice from you!" Quatre yells at Michelle as the others laugh.

"This is what happens when Toyota calls and they want their car back!" Duo says.

_ACTION!!_

Quatre pulls on the skateboard that Michelle is supposed to be on. The skateboard doesn't shove as Quatre tries his best to pull it out. 

"Damn onna! You put on some weight!" Quatre says. 

"Hehe, that's my boy!" Wufei says.

Finally the skateboard budges and there is a heavy bag of sand on the skateboard.

"Ok, nowhere in my contract did it say I have to kiss a sandbag!" Quatre yells.

_ACTION!!_

It's the scene where Heero is beating on Duo. Duo ad-libs a roll as Heero tries to punch him and Heero ends up punching the floor.

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWIIIIIIIEEEE!!" Heero yells in pain.

"Dude! You're totally wrecking the whole no emotion motif!" Duo says in a surfer type voice. Heero mutters something incoherent.

_NEXT SCENE, ACTION!!_

Nichol walks out into the hall where the soldiers are seated. Nichol opens his mouth to say something but lets out a big belch. The soldiers laugh.

"Woah, were we supposed to take notes on that sir?" One of them asks as Nichol blushes.

_ACTION!!_

"Re-think that statement."

"…Use Yuy's car."

"No one is using Yuy's anything." Heero says as a look of hilarity crosses his face. "That just sounded messed man." The others roar with laughter as the director yells cut.

_ACTION!!!_

"I don't understand what you are telling me!! Are you saying that it just blew up voluntarily?!" Lady Une yells.

"I'd answer but I fear for my life ma'am." The preventer says as Lady Une rolls her eyes. "C'mon! I only get a little airtime anyway!"

_GO!!_

Wufei and Michelle are sitting in a car with a fake background moving behind them so it looks like they're driving.

"You need to loosen up! Music doesn't kill your sense of integrity it just makes you feel better."

"Really?" Wufei asks. "Dear lord, we just passed the Empire State building! Aren't we in Boston?"

"Kodak moment!" Michelle says as Wufei poses for a picture.

_TAKE 2. ACTION!!_

Still in the same car as before.

"Really?" Wufei asks disbelievingly. Michelle sighs and puts in a CD. "A CD? Aren't those…outdated?"

"I'm into my classics Wu-man, unlike this techno funk nowadays classified as music."

"Did you just call me Wu-man??! Onna, you are pissing me off." Suddenly, Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody" starts playing instead of Teenage Dirtbag. Wufei and Michelle burst into giggles as the director yells cut.

"Will not let you go let me go? Will not let you go let me go? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Mama mia, mama mia, mama mia let me go. Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me, for me, for me!" Wufei and Michelle sing as they bob their head to the famous instrumental bit ala Wayne's World. The director yells cut.

_GO!!!_

"That's odd…" Michelle says.

"What?" Wufei replied.

"There's no one else here."

"You are so paranoid. It's early."

"You never go grocery shopping, do you Wufei?" Wufei is about to open his mouth but has clearly forgotten his line.

"My name is Wufei…and I have a problem…" Wufei says.

_AAAACTTIOOOOOOOON!!_

"Because Duo's my friend and I know how much family means to him! I can't let you die!!" Wufei yells. Duo walks on to the shot and engulfs him in a big hug.

"Awwwwwww! I never knew you cared!"

"CUT!"

_3,2,1 GO!_

"Y'ello?" Duo says.

"Am I talking to Duo Maxwell?"

"The one and only! How can I help you out?"

"But you've already done so much for me Mr Maxwell." Duo frowns.

"Who is this?"

"…"

"WHO IS THIS?!?!" Duo ad-libs.

"I see dead people…"

"What?!"

"I mean, what's your favourite scary movie?"

"What?!"

"You know what? you're hopeless. I'm gonna go bother Trowa instead."

"That was so pointless I don't even know where to begin."

_ACTION!_

Zechs and Heero both arrive at Relena's house in Boston. They look at each other with narrowed eyes.

"Hello…Zechs." Heero says.

"Hello…Heero." Zechs says, re-enacting the classic Seinfeld moment.

_TAKE 3, ACTION!!_

The front door creaks open and Michelle is standing there. Duo and Quatre both run to hug her but as they do her head falls off.

"AARG!!" They both scream as Michelle's real head pops up from beneath the shirt.

"Mwahahahaha!!" She laughs as they both dogpile on her.

_TAKE 4, ACTION!!_

Quatre runs to hug Michelle but he trips and knocks her over.

"Quat, could you please remove you hands…?" Michelle asks. Quatre blushes and jumps up.

_MARKER…ACTION!!_

It's the scene where Quatre is supposed to grab Michelle and kiss her. The director yells action but just as Quatre is about to kiss her she sneezes.

"Scuse me…" She says sheepishly as Quatre laughs.

_3,2,1 GO!!_

"Run, and run fast. BECAUSE WHEN I CATCH YOU!!!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" Duo yells as Michelle chases after him. They run off set and past the Preventers' office set, where Nichol and Lady Une are casually having lunch. They look up at the camera and sweat-drop. Une pulls out a gun and points it to his head.

"Erm, yah! I was just about to arrest him…hehe." Une laughs as the rest of the cast laugh at her. Eventually, the camera catches up with Duo and Michelle. They are at a fake 'on top of a building' set. Michelle holds a scythe to him.

"I'm telling ya! I didn't kill my wife!" Duo yells.

"I don't care." Michelle replies. Duo turns around, takes a deep breath and jumps off the building.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!! OW MY BRAID!!" Duo yells as Michelle cracks up.

_ACTION!!_

"I…I'm pregnant." Hilde waits for Duo's reaction. He smiles and gets up to shout in happiness but James Brown's 'I Feel Good' starts up and he starts to dance to it.

"I feel good! I knew that I would now! I feel good! I knew that I would! So good!" Duo sang swaying his hips to the two-beat bit. "So good! I got you!" Duo points to Hilde who is already on the floor with laughter.

_GO!!_

Heero walks into Relena's room and sees that she has been kidnapped. He dramatically gasps and runs to the window.

"REEEEEEEEELLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" He yells as the cast and crew crack up. He smirks slightly.

"Sorry. It was there and I had to grab it." Heero says.

_ACTION!_

The phone rings as Quatre and Michelle sleep. It rings for a long time until Quatre picks it up.

"Geez, she sleeps like her brother." Quatre mutters. He rubbed his eye sleepily. "Hello?"

"QUATRE! WAZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…"

"WAAAAAAZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…"

Simultaneously, Wufei goes to Quatre and Trowa goes to Duo. Wufei and Trowa knock out each pilot and say,

"If I have to hear that damned phrase one more time I'll do more than crack a few heads!!"

_ACTION!!_

Quatre is trying to wake Michelle up while putting his pants on. Unfortunately, he doesn't seem to be doing it very well.

"I got…WAAH!" Quatre says as he falls over. Michelle, who is supposed to be sleeping, starts to laugh uncontrollably. Quatre lies on the ground drumming his fingers. "Oh yah, it's that hilarious (!)"

_3,2,1 ACTION!_

"They'll figure out where we are you know. Then you'll be sorry." Hilde says.

"Hmm? Why's that?"

"Erm…"

"Coz we'll kick your military butt! That's why!" Duo yells from off camera. Hilde sticks her tongue out at him.

"Very funny!"

_MARKER…ACTION!!!_

Trowa knocks at the door and Michelle hastily hides all her stuff under the bed.

"Come in!" She says. Trowa tries to say something but trips over the bag and falls head first out the fake window. He hams it up a bit by yelling for a long time then exclaiming,

"OOF!"

_LIGHTS, CAMERA, ACTION!!!_

The scene at the toll bridge. Michelle knocks on the window and Jools pops her head out of the window too far and falls out. Michelle starts to giggle.

_3,2,1 GO!!_

The phone rings and everyone dashes for it and fall in a heap. Even Heero, who was supposed to answer the phone.

"Um guys, I'm the smallest one here so could YOU PLEASE GET OFF ME?!?!" Heero yells as everyone laughs. "I'M SERIOUS!"

_ROLL FILM, ACTION!!_

"You think I didn't know?! I'm a damn pilot Gun it!" Heero says. "Erm, I mean a Gundam pilot damn it! Aw sh*beep!*"

_ACTION!!!_

"What do you want with us? We haven't caused you any harm and yet you just callously beat us up and all we asked you was why? So if you're going to kill me then at least give me the satisfaction of knowing why you're doing this." Relena says. Nichol looks at her blankly. "This is the part where you're supposed to say something!"

"Oh I'm sorry!" Nichol laughs sheepishly. "I was just so caught up in her speech…hehe!"

_GO!!!_

"Quatre, you are just lucky that I have a lot of free time on my hands." Duo grins as he pulls out a cell phone detector. "I also have Tylenol, a monkey wrench, a big ass piñata, a real life Simpsons figurine…" Duo says while pulling all those items out.

_ACTION!!_

"We need to get there and fast." Zechs says as he rushes out of the door. The others wait for him to come back in again but he doesn't.

"Ok, so does anyone want pizza while we're waiting?" Duo asks as they disperse.

"No pepperoni on my part!" Quatre says. 3,2,1 ACTION!! **This is your fault you know…** 

_**No! No one knows that for sure!**_

_**But Zechs knew, he saw it perfectly clear.**_

_**Shut up!**_

_**You do realise you're talkin to yourself right?**_

_**Oh yeah…**_

_**Baka…**_

_**Hey! Now I can get an honest opinion! Do these pants make me look fat?**_

_**No…the fact that you're fat makes you look fat**_

_**Great…I have an inner conscience who steals material from TV shows**_

"That's it! Michelle get out of the sound booth!" The director yells. Michelle comes out of the booth and shows the director a V sign. The director face-faults.

_ACTION!!_

The major fight scene begins. As the G-boys hold off the soldiers the A-Team music starts to play. Duo falls down in a heap of laughter.

"Shinigami! That is so corny!" Duo laughs.

_ACTION!_

"You're gonna be ok right?" Quatre asked. 

"Course! It's only ketchup sweetie!" Michelle says as the cast groan. "What? He just looked at me with those puppy dog eyes! I couldn't tell him the truth!"

_ROLL 'EM!!_

Wufei is mercilessly beating on Nichol.

"This is for Sally! And this is for kidnapping me! And this is for that damned awful hairdo!" Wufei says as Nichol starts to laugh. "DO NOT MOCK ME MUTTON HEAD!!"

"Damn! You know he's not gonna be in the sequel!" Duo cracks.

The End!!

End credits roll with "Livin Like A Prayer" by Bon Jovi playing.

Heero Yuy ~ Tom Cruise

Duo Maxwell ~ Will Friedle

Trowa Barton ~ Josh Hartnet

Quatre Raberba Winner ~ Devon Sawa

Wufei Chang ~ Keanu Reeves

Michelle Maxwell ~ Denise Richards

Relena Dorlian/Peacecraft ~ Sarah Michelle Gellar

Hilde Schbeiker-Maxwell ~ Natalie Portman

Lt. Nichol ~ Kevin Spacey

Sally Po ~ Lisa Kudrow

Lady Une ~ Julie Anne Moore

Treize Kushrenada ~ Alec Baldwin

Zechs Marquise ~ Brad Pitt

Lucreiza Noin ~ Carrie Ann Moss

Catherine Bloom ~ Sandra Bullock

Amira Winner ~ Claire Danes

Leila Winner ~ Ashley Johnson

Sultana Winner ~ Christina Applegate

Nadia Winner ~ Heather Graham

Sabina Winner ~ Cameron Diaz

Private Johansson ~ Nicholas Brendon

1st Preventer ~ Jason Marsden

Jools ~ Pamela Segal

Frankie ~ Joey Laurence

Written, Produced and Directed by Nik Nak

Songs

"Teenage Dirtbag" Performed by Whetus


End file.
